How to Deal with Haters

You’re not pretty enough.

You’re not skinny enough.

You’re not fit enough.

That wasn’t funny.

Do you even have a real job?

You don’t make a good model.

If I had a dollar for every time someone gave me some kind of criticism about my appearance or job, then damn I probably wouldn’t have to work anymore. To be completely transparent, I got an awful comment just last week that almost brought me to tears but I quickly shook it all off.

So what’s the moral of the story?

When you are a creative entrepreneur, especially putting yourself out there online, you ARE going to have haters. What I like to call them? Internet Trolls aka people who want to be negative and say unnecessary things just to get a rise out of you. But listen, that’s just the reality of running an online business. But saying that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, right? Plus I’ll be honest, I’m damn sensitive so I don’t know how I do it.

So for anyone who has ever had a mean, hurtful or negative comment thrown their way here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way about how to deal with haters:

Don’t read all of the comments.

Easier said than done, I know. But recently I was listening to a podcast who had some famous actress on. They asked how she deals with negativity online and do you know her answer? She said she doesn’t read one comment on Instagram. Mind you, this person is drop dead gorgeous yet she still feels the need to block it all out. This only goes to show that even stunningly gorgeous celebrities with millions of dollars still get awful mean comments like you and I. Just sayin…

Think about the positive rather than negative.

Lets be honest. For every mean comment there are probably 100 amazing comments. Think about all of the positive feedback you’ve received. Has someone ever said thank you for an article you wrote or advice you gave? Focus on those things, not that stupid unworthy people who just want to bring others down.

Don’t respond.

I know some people disagree with this and like to defend themselves but I tend to feel the opposite. Don’t feel obligated to respond to random assholes. Reason being? By responding, you’re just giving them the joy of knowing that you noticed them. You’re letting them win because you’re showing that you have been provoked and you’re wasting your valuable time doing something that has no possible positive outcome on your life whatsoever. Wouldn’t you rather spend that time creating? Working on your business? Spending time with your family and people who make you HAPPY? If it was an email, delete the email. Instagram comment? Delete the comment. Whatever it is – get it out of sight. Whoever and Whatever is causing negativity in your life — DELETE.

Move the fuck on.

Sorry, did I just cuss? Wait am I apologizing? Looks like I need to take my own advice don’t I?

Don’t waste time thinking about it and talking about it. Sometimes I have (and still do) think/talk about it when it happens and I’ve realized that all it is is time and energy you can never get back. Stop taking what people think about you so seriously because lets be honest, have you ever sat down to think about the person who is actually there talking shit about you? That’s someone who doesn’t have anything else better to do in their life but to drag others down.

Always remember, successful people don’t take the time out of their day to shit on what others are doing. They don’t have time for that and they could care LESS. You don’t have time for an internet troll because you’re too busy kicking ass to even notice.

So in the end, why do we even care?

We are all human, we have real feelings and as much as say we don’t, we oddly do care what other people think of us to a certain extent. Having chosen a career in which I am in the public eye and I have essentially chosen to put my life here for you all to judge it, I have to deal with the fact that not everyone is going to like it. And well, thats OK.

Always remember the following: Every successful person has haters.

One of my good friends tells me almost every day, it is not the obstacles themselves thrown at us that make us who we are but it is HOW we deal and react to those obstacles. So take any negative feedback as fuel to continue creating and kicking ass. Let it drive you to be even better and create inspiration from it. Like for example, my latest internet troll just gave me a ton of material for today’s blog post and well, for that I thank them.

XOXO

Shop the Look:

Top: Tommy Hilfiger // Jeans: Here // Shoes: Lacoste // Sunglasses: Ray Ban // Bag: Brighton