Stop Letting Others Take Advantage of You

Life is complicated and as you get older, it doesn’t necessarily get easier but I’d like to believe it does get easier to stand up for yourself and move on from toxic people in your life. In general, we should all know how to respect ourselves, and we should also help others know how to respect us.

Whenever you feel like someone is taking advantage of you or trying to be unfair to you, then open up. Stand up for yourself and fight. Each time you stand up for what’s fair, you respect yourself and well,.. you gain respect.

When you stop allowing others to take advantage of you and respect yourself, your self esteem improves.

I’ll be honest, I recently came to realization that there were some people in my life who had taken advantage of me and as soon as I noticed and spoke up, those people immediately disappeared from my life. No joke they completely and entirely cut me out. Cut me out as in immediately stopped talking to me, texting me and never invited me out again. Pretty wild, right?

Maybe, you are a person who always tries to help people, but think for a minute of what are you getting in return? Many times you end up getting cheated, and if you’ve ever been in my position you know what I’m talking about. People take advantage of your friendship and helping nature therefore, it is essential for you to learn to say NO.

Here are some tips I’ve learned recently:

Be people-discerning. Shady people tend to be evasive, not upfront about their intentions, and inconsistent in their actions and words (i.e. what they do and say are completely different). You get better at sizing people up the more you socialize with them.
Do give people the benefit of the doubt though. Always assume the best of others until proven otherwise.
Remove people who have abused your kindness before. Once bitten, twice shy, third time… well, you don’t want there to be a third time. If someone has taken advantage of your goodwill before, get RID of them.
Give what you are ready to give. Be there for others and give them what you can, as your natural self. I gave a LOT and was feeling bad that I did so but then started to think – this was just my natural self. This way, it doesn’t matter if they supposedly “take advantage of you” — whatever you have given would be something you were ready and okay to give, and hence not incurred as “loss”, so to speak. Simply take it as a gift of kindness to someone who needed it more than you. (People who take advantage of others do so because they are in a place of lack and neediness.)
Surround yourself with good people. As you uncover gems (good friends) in your life’s journey, keep them close to you. Treasure them and love them as you would yourself. Even if you do get hurt by others along the way, your good friends will be there to catch you when you fall. You’ll never be alone in your problems.
Forgive, don’t forget. This may sound vengeful but it really isn’t. By “don’t forget”, I’m simply saying to be mindful of the past and make conscious choices on relationships and people based on past and present experiences. You will be stronger because of it.

All in all, you don’t want to start connections by seeing the worst in them – that is never a good basis to form connections. You want to start connections by assuming the best of others, having a trusting view, and believing they have your best interests at heart. If you do get hurt, then so be it. Cut your losses and just move on. Learn from the experience and apply the lessons for future friendships. Life is too short to live in fear or to bear grudges. The sooner you let go, the faster you can meet awesome people who will thrive in your goodness just as you will in theirs.

Love, Olia

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