So I’m going to talk about the elephant in the room today — the topic that every girl and/or blogger is thinking but sometimes doesn’t always talk about — COMPETITION.
Living in a social media driven world full of perfect photos and lives that seem all too much better than yours sadly appears to be the world we live in. It can be hard when the only thing you see online are people sharing the amazing trips, expensive handbags and perfect relationships and you are left thinking well, why don’t I have that?
NEWS FLASH GUYS – THAT’S NOT REAL LIFE.
I hate to say it, but having lived and worked in a social media driven world for about 4 years now I’ve had to train myself to not let people’s perfect Instagram lives get to me. I’ll be honest, at the beginning it got to me, a LOT. I mean how can it not? People are sharing these extravagant homes they live in, lavish vacations they go on and here I am sitting at home in my pj’s wearing pimple cream and wondering where the hell I went wrong in my life?
Well guess what guys I’m going to say it again. It’s not real life.
People are sharing the best part of their lives, not the worst. I mean why would anyone share a photo of them looking like shit, complaining about life? We live in a society where we want people to think we have it all and we have it better than them. And this is what I started to realize.
Why am I talking about this?
Because more often than not, the one thing I hear women and other bloggers complain about is that they see everyone else doing these amazing things and working with these insane brands and they don’t know why in the world they aren’t. To be honest, I wish I had someone when I first started blogging tell me all this because I won’t lie at the beginning it was hard. And I mean real hard.
I remember I would compare myself to all these other girls and think to myself well, I can’t buy those $1500 pair of shoes or that $5000 Gucci handbag. I don’t have 500k followers and I’m not traveling to Dubai on an all expense paid trip. I mean, it got to a point that it was consuming my brain and just breaking me down. I started feeling crappy about myself in every which way. What I know now is that you bring more into your life what your thoughts are. So in essence, thinking all this stuff was only making me feel worse and worse.
Then something inside of me clicked.
I remember at the time (a long long time ago, LOL) I had a boyfriend. He was an ex baseball player I would complain to him all the time that I was seeing all these other people doing these amazing things and I was working so hard and it just wasn’t happening for me. I didn’t know it then but now looking back, he probably gave me the best advice I had ever been given. He told me, “Olia, STOP looking at other people focus on yourself. When I was playing baseball whenever I would look at other players stats and numbers I did worse. When I stopped looking at them, I started killing it in every way.”
And so it hit me. I realized that I was no longer going to start feeling bad for myself and I was going to do what I came here to do — share ME. If people didn’t like it, then they didn’t have to follow and in turn I was going to stop focusing on what I don’t have and start focusing on what I DO HAVE. I made a conscious effort to not look at other people’s accounts and blogs and just focus on mine and let me tell you — it changed my life.
I stopped comparing myself and started being happy about what I was doing. Things started happening and work started to flow in. I may not have had that Birkin handbag but it worked — FOR ME. My life changed for the better and it has ever since. To this day, I live by the rule that instagram is not real life — it is people sharing the BEST PARTS of their life. Everyone has problems, everyone has bad days and EVERYONE has ugly days. We all have pimples and love handles and stretch marks. We all take 54392 selfies before we find ONE that we like.
Okay okay — maybe some people don’t have stretch marks but I sure do ::eye roll::
SO — Moral of the story. We are all human and we all have insecurities. Try to not compare yourself too much to other people because remember no one is going to be sharing the worst part of their lives online for everyone to see. Make a change. If you find your feed is filled with negativity then unfollow some people (lets just hope its not me). Do things that make you happy, take a break from social media and never ever doubt that your life is any less worth it than someone else.
Love you guys and thank you all for following me on this journey <3
Shop this Look:
Pants: Here // Top: South Parade // Bag: Henri Bendel // Sunglasses: ZeroUV // Shoes: Christian Louboutin
Absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this! So true and so hard to not compare in this crazy blogging world. Preach it girl!!
Thank you sooo much. Love you!! <3
Sucha great post girl! Can totally relate to how you felt. I too had an Ah-ha moment about 8 months ago and I’ve never looked back! Thanks for sharing this insightful post babe and keep doing you because you are fabulous. xo
It’s so crazy once you realize you end up doing a million times better! Im so glad you related to it! Thanks for reading!
This post has so much truth to it! Thank you for sharing 🙂
xo, Liz
http://lipstickandconfetti.com
Thank you so much!! <3
You look so chic and beautiful as always! Great work! 🙂
http://chicglamstyle.com/the-key-to-rocking/
Love this! I appreciate how real and honest you always are! We women need to raise each other up and just enjoy the ride!
Thank you so much Tammy!! I’ll always try to be real here, thanks for noticing <3
Olia! I hardly ever comment, but just wanted to share something…I discovered your blog about 3 years ago, you commented something very sweet on my blog, I checked out your blog after, and instantly fell in LOVE with your blog and vision! Love this post….I can relate…I sorta gave up on blogging, i felt that I didn’t have what it took to be a real blogger out there making it. You’re an inspiration girl. Love this post, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this with us. We all can relate, at least I can! The struggle can be real in world where everything and everyone’s life is being documented, but let’s not forget about the editing part of the process. You nailed it in this post. Thanks again for a good read.
xx
Nathalie
http://www.crayonsinmylouboutins.com
Awww thanks so much Nathalie!! Makes me so happy to hear this!
So true! It’s so hard not to look at what everyone else has or is doing, but comparison robs us of true joy! Thank you for sharing and your inspiration.
P.S. You’re beautiful! ❤
This is a great post, Olia! I am an older blogger, and it is really tough when you are in this business. Blogging is a lot of work, and it is disappointing (at times) to work really hard, but not see the benefits.
You are wise beyond your years to figure it out now! My mantra has become “You Do You”. That’s all we can do! Keep up the great posts and Instagram. You are a doll! xx
I love that you shared such an important topic! I’ve had my blog for almost a year now and I’m still struggling to get any deals or collaborations but I just keep on posting what I’m passionate about!
Love,
Natalie
http://www.sugarlyblog.com
Yes, you should always do it for YOU. You’re doing great babe, keep it up!
Yaaasss! I have caught myself doing just this and quickly snap myself back to reality. Thanks for sharing girl!
So glad you could relate! <3
Girl this was so inspiring. Thank you for being so honest about everything… my blog is not even a year old yet and I try to remind myself that I started this because it was fun, not for the competition. And your right everything post on social media isn’t always what it seems… we all need that reminder once in awhile. I love your style & all of your looks – you definitely inspire me to think outside of the box when it comes to style😘
Xx Sarah
http://www.indecisivelystylish.wordpress.com
Olia, thank you so much for tackling this topic! And thank you for being such a supportive person and blogger. You are beautiful inside and out!
Heidi || Wishes & Reality
Thank you so much for this post Olia! I am so guilty of looking at other Instagram’s and bloggers and feeling so bad about myself and all the work I put into my blog.. it’s so hard not to compare yourself when you feel like you’re putting in so much work.. but I gotta remember just keep doing me and maybe I need to take a break from social media! Thanks for this honest post and for being so nice and inspiring!
Xo, Steph | http://www.sassandsun.com
I just stumbled upon your blog and you’re amazing! I live in napa and follow Erika from Whiskeyandlace, saw your guys posts about wine country – can’t stop reading, love your blogging advice, especially this article. excited to follow along – your spot on about it all and definitely helped me when I was having “one of those days”…. stupid mercury needs to get out of retrograde already! Lol
Ahhhh this made my night!! Sitting in my hotel room reading this and love it! SO glad you found me!!