How I Learned to Be Happy Alone

A lot of the time I get DM’s and messages from my followers saying that they admire how independent I am and that I haven’t settled in life. To be honest, those messages mean the world to me and give me validation for the way I am because as with everyone I’m human too and doubt myself at times.

I will say, I’ve always been pretty happy alone. That could be because I’ve never looked at someone else to give me joy and happiness – I’ve always wanted to do that all for myself. Growing up, I lived at home with my parents until I was done with college and had a big girl job and enough money saved to buy my first place. I never did the roommate thing and maybe that’s contributed to being comfortable alone – who knows?

Some people are naturally happy alone. But for others, being solo is a challenge. If you fall into the latter group, there are ways to become more comfortable with being alone (yes, even if you’re a hardcore extrovert). If you couldn’t guess, I’m definitely an introvert.

Regardless of how you feel about being alone, building a good relationship with yourself is a worthy investment. After all, you do spend quite a bit of time with yourself, so you might as well learn to enjoy it.

Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely.

Before getting into the different ways to find happiness in being alone, it’s important to untangle these two concepts: being alone and being lonely. While there’s some overlap between them, they’re completely different concepts.

Maybe you’re a person who absolutely basks in solitude. You’re not antisocial, friendless, or loveless. You’re just quite content with alone time. In fact, you look forward to it. That’s simply being alone, not being lonely. I happen to fall into this category and always have.

On the other hand, maybe you’re surrounded by family and friends but not really relating beyond a surface level, which has you feeling rather empty and disconnected. Or maybe being alone just leaves you sad and longing for company. That’s loneliness.

Avoid comparing yourself to others.

This is easier said than done, but try to avoid comparing your social life to anyone else’s. It’s not the number of friends you have or the frequency of your social outings that matters. It’s what works for you.

Remember, you really have no way of knowing if someone with a bunch of friends and a stuffed social calendar is actually happy.

Take a step back from social media.

Social media isn’t inherently bad or problematic, but if scrolling through your feeds makes you feel left out and stressed, take a few steps back. That feed doesn’t tell the whole story. Not by a long shot.

You have no idea if those people are truly happy or just giving the impression that they are. Either way, it’s no reflection on you. So, take a deep breath and put it in perspective.

Be grateful.

I know I say this all the time but when you think about what you’re most grateful for, you will feel happier. Take a moment each day to reflect on things you’re grateful for, so the next time you feeling upset, you have a list to prove you do have things to be happy about. 

Look at the positives.

Learn all the good things that come with being alone. Just think about it: you can spread out and hog the bed, don’t need to change your plans to accommodate your partner, and you can sit on the couch all day if you really want to! Above all, you have absolute freedom and can make the choices you decide are RIGHT.

You’ll become more productive.

Being in the company of other people can be fun and entertaining, but it can also seriously affect your productivity. There are times when the company of other people acts as nothing more than a distraction from getting your work done.

Time spent alone can be some of the most productive time in your life-mostly because there are fewer distractions, and you can just put your head down and get to work.

Being alone gives you an opportunity to plan your life.

Most people spend a lot of time planning weddings and vacations but never plan how to get the most out of life. Spending time alone can give you a chance to ensure there’s a purpose to all of your hustling and bustling. Quiet space provides an opportunity think about your goals, your progress, and changes you want to make in your life.

I whole heartedly believe all things happen for a reason and if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’d be where I am in my life today if I wasn’t comfortable being alone and able to spend that time being secure with myself and realize the things that I want for my life. Instead of depending on others I’ve worked my ass of to get it myself and I promise you, that is truly one of the most rewarding experiences of all.