Making good friends as an adult can be a little more challenging than it used to be. I always had a bunch of friends growing up but then as you get older, your friend group seems to dwindle a bit. You begin to grow apart from people because their interests no longer match up to yours, people start families, or you just don’t “click” anymore which is totally OK and normal.
If I’m being honest, I’ve never had a very large group of friends as an adult. I’ve always appreciated having 1-2 amazing friends over a group of “so-so” friends. As an adult we are all on our own journey, finding ourselves, working hard, building our career and I’ve learned it really takes time to find a few good friends. I finally feel like I have it and it’s such a great thing to have — to have friends who don’t judge you, who don’t get mad at you if you fell off the grid and those who just GET you no matter how much time has passed. With that being said, there are a few qualities to look for in a good friend as an adult. Here they are:
True friends don’t want to be you or take what’s yours.
I have lost my fair share of friends due to jealousy or just plain being petty and realized, that’s just not healthy to surround yourself with. A true friend gets excited — not jealous and angry — when something good happens. Great friends are teammates and celebrate each others’ success. If someone in your life acts angry or distant when things seem to be going your way, they’re comparing themselves to you instead of genuinely being happy for you.
They’re honest, but supportive.
Friends are one of the very best external sources of information about yourself. They know you very well, but they’re not partially blinded by emotions like in a romantic relationship. This means they can see some of your rough edges that you might not realize. I often ask my best friends for advice and/or thoughts on what I’m going through and they always help me through it with honest opinions.
They’re there for you when you really need them.
Friends are supposed to be there for each other. We all know that. But what makes a friend go from good to great is when they explicitly tell you that they’re available when you need them. Modern life can be hectic, but a great friend makes time to offer advice or support when needed.
They help you step up your game.
We are the company we keep. When it comes to friendships, surround yourself with people who inspire you to be your best self. Quality friendships spark your interest and expose you to new ideas, beliefs, people, and cultures. Their successes will help you to tackle a new job promotion, and their life experiences will encourage you in other aspects. Their being better makes you better. A friend who helps you step up your game means you’re learning and experiencing more, so you can be a better person—and friend.
Trustworthy
It’s called an inner circle for a reason. Your friends should make you feel safe sharing your inner thoughts, dreams, fears, and well, the stuff you hate. Your friend should honor your secrets like their own, while giving you the space and security you need to express your authentic self. Trusting another person takes vulnerability, honesty, and loyalty. So when you’ve found a friend who’s truly trustworthy, you know it’s special.
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I can agree with what you said Olia! Friends are definitely hard to find when you don’t know what matters. I recently found that out and have since reevaluated a lot of my current relationships. I now know moving forward the qualities to look for and it makes a whole world of difference!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com