Single in Your 30s

Don’t get me wrong, there are times I think to myself and say well, damn I’m 32 and single, where did that part of my life go wrong? But then, I take a step back, see all I’ve accomplished and realize being single in your 30s is actually kind of… liberating. 

I’ve been in a few serious relationships in my life so far and tbh, right now I feel free, whole and happy on a different level. When I think back on dating in my 20s, I realize I said all the wrong things, entered into relationships with all kinds of wrong people and didn’t put myself first. In my 30s however, what I want in a relationship is entirely different than what I wanted in my 20s. I refuse to settle in relationship unless it is absolutely right.

Remember, you only live ONCE in this world, so make sure you take care of YOU first.

In your 30s, time seems to slow down a whole lot. I don’t find myself as eager to jump into a relationship or date just for the sake of dating. AND, when I do date, I know exactly the kind of person I’m looking for and the moment a red flag appears,.. it’s a no go for me. Speaking of red flags, now in my 30s my BS meter has definitely maxed out. I can spot a red flag from a mile away. And I’m not afraid to voice it either. #SorryNotSorry

Let’s be honest, ain’t no one got time for games.

I have valued working on friendships more than romantic relationships if that makes sense. Being single allows you the time to focus spending time with your closest friends and heading out on adventures that you guys will cherish forever. I’ll admit, in the past I would put my “friend” life on the back burner whenever I had a relationship and learned I lost myself along the way and never want to make that mistake again. 

One of the best parts of being single? If staying in bed all weekend binge watching a Netflix show sounds like an ideal Saturday, you can do so without being judged. I remember dating someone in the past who used to get on my case if I wanted to have a lazy day and actually even called me “lazy” and “boring” to be honest. I let it get to me and hurt my feelings and then I realized what is life for if you can’t enjoy the things YOU WANT to do? If I want to watch Netflix sprawled out on my bed in my pjs all day, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

I’ve even been ridiculed in a previous relationship for the fact that I actually enjoy “alone time.” Strange how some people think that’s weird, right? I’ve never lived with roommates and maybe that’s why I truly appreciate having time to myself. I thrive on self-care and getting to know myself better. I feel like in my 20s I liked alone time, but it wasn’t until my 30s when I really learned to appreciate it. I am completely satisfied staying home on a Friday night with a glass of wine and cuddling up to my pups.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

On another note, research shows that for most people, real happiness begins around the age of 33 and what they say IS true – the 30s are your best years. So for now, I’m going to embrace this time in my life to do anything I want and make MYSELF truly happy. If that means I share it with someone in my life, great and if not, I’ll still be OK.

Love, Olia

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