Surviving a Toxic & Abusive Relationship: How I Found Myself Again

This one is going to be hard but here we go…

I never thought I’d find myself in a relationship that made me question everything about who I am. But life has a way of throwing us curveballs, and for a while, I was caught in a storm that left me feeling like a shell of my former self. I’m sharing my story not because it’s easy, but because I want anyone who might feel trapped in a similar situation to know that there is a way out—and life on the other side is more beautiful than I ever imagined.

For a long time, I didn’t even realize how bad things had gotten. I was criticized for everything—my choices, my hobbies/interests, my appearance, my personality. I was picked apart to the point where I started to believe the lies. I felt small, insignificant, and unworthy of love.

The constant put-downs and yelling chipped away at my confidence.

I cried more than I ever thought possible. I doubted myself constantly. I was walking on eggshells, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Deep down, I knew this wasn’t normal, but it’s easy to get lost in the cycle when someone convinces you that the problem is you.

There were times when things escalated to a point that genuinely scared me. The constant yelling and verbal attacks occasionally took on an edge that made me fear what could come next. I could sense the tension in the air, and it felt like the line between emotional abuse and physical harm was dangerously thin. It was a chilling realization that this wasn’t just unhealthy—it could become dangerous if I stayed.

That fear became a wake-up call, one I couldn’t ignore any longer.

Thankfully, I had friends and family who refused to let me believe what I started to think of myself. They reminded me of my worth when I couldn’t see it for myself. They pointed out the absurdity of the things I was enduring and held space for me when I needed to vent or cry. And trust me, there was a LOT of that. They didn’t let me settle for a life that was so far removed from happiness and love.

The turning point for me was when I started to truly listen to them. I began to realize that the way I was being treated was not just unfair—it was abusive. I took small, cautious steps toward reclaiming my life. At first, it was terrifying, but little by little, I started to feel the pieces of myself coming back together.

Leaving wasn’t easy. Toxic relationships have a way of making you feel trapped, but breaking free was the most empowering thing I’ve ever done. Once I was out, it was as though the weight of the world had been lifted. I started to rediscover myself—the person I was before the criticism, doubt, and pain.

Today, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’ve learned to set boundaries, to value myself, and to demand the love and respect I deserve. I’ve also learned that healing isn’t linear; there are days when the past still creeps in, but those moments no longer define me.

If you’re reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, please know that you’re not alone. There are people who love you and want to support you. You are not what someone else says you are—you are so much more. And when you find the courage to step away, you’ll discover a world of light, love, and peace waiting for you.

Healing is possible. Happiness is possible. And life on the other side of a toxic relationship is worth fighting for.

You are worth it.